Tag Archives: Penelope Cruz

Zoolander 2

When Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) make their runway return early in Zoolander 2, they are wearing shirts that read “Old” and “Lame.” It is, of course, lame of me to point out how accurately those shirts’ sentiments reflect my thoughts about the film. Sorry.

Zoolander 2 has a handful of slightly funny moments, but many more moments that are supposed to be funny but are not. But hey, the numerous surprise cameos ARE fun! (Note: Other reviewers will spill the beans about certain cameo appearances. I will not. You’re welcome.) And the soundtrack includes some cool EDM.

Not “cameos,” per se, because they appear in the trailer: Benedict Cumberbatch as an androgynous model looks like Voldemort during his brief appearance. Justin Beiber as himself manages to hang on for a selfie before he makes his final exit.

The 2001 Zoolander movie was relentless as it poked fun at the fashion industry. Stiller and Wilson were hilarious as clueless male models. Will Ferrell, as goofy looking villain Mugatu, was a hoot. Try though it may, the new version just does not connect. (Stiller, by the way, directed both films.)

During their 15-year absence, Derek constructed a building in NYC. The building collapsed, killing his wife and disfiguring Hansel. Unfortunately, the shots of a building falling down in New York City recall the real-life event that happened two weeks before the release of the first Zoolander.

In Z-2, Derek and Hansel are dispatched to Rome to be part of a fashion show. But the focus of the film is on Derek’s effort to reconnect with his son (who just happens to be in a Rome orphanage). Mugatu is now in a “fashion prison” which, amusingly, is built to resemble a giant thimble.

The film’s climax involves a quasi-religious ritual involving real life fashion industry figures.

Penelope Cruz appears as a gorgeous Interpol agent. An unrecognizable Kristen Wiig is an oddly-attired fashionista. (She looks almost like the late Tammie Faye Baker.) Keifer Sutherland is the leader of Hansel’s diverse “orgy crew.”

Some sequels are better left unmade. Zoolander 2 might’ve been a good idea on paper. But on film, not a good idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Counselor

Things to like about The Counselor:

  1. Cormac McCarthy’s literate script. The master novelist transfers his writing talent to a screenplay.
  2. Ridley Scott’s compelling visuals. Every scene in The Counselor looks good onscreen.
  3. Cameron Diaz’s silver fingernails. Stylish. (as Malkina)
  4. The love scene between The Counselor (Michael Fassbender) and his lady Laura (Penelope Cruz). Tastefully sexy amongst the white sheets.
  5. Brad Pitt in a cowboy hat (as Westray) telling The Counselor that he could be happy living in a monastery. Why doesn’t he? In a word, he says, “women.”
  6. Javier Bardem (as Reiner) telling a very dirty (but funny) story about a Malkina sexual escapade on a Ferrari windshield.
  7. Bruno Ganz (as the Diamond Dealer) triggering memories of the Hitler Reacts videos.
  8. The Counselor’s repeated requests for advice from others. Ironic role reversal.
  9. Ruben Blades back on screen as one of those who counsels The Counselor.
  10.  Rosie Perez back on screen as a prisoner The Counselor is assigned to defend.
  11. The creative method of transporting dope into the U.S. via oil drums hidden inside a tanker truck’s tank.
  12. Dean Norris back on screen as one involved in the drug trade. Ironic role reversal for Breaking Bad DEA agent Hank.
  13. Malkina’s leopards chasing jackrabbits.
  14. The classy look of most of the settings: Reiner’s restaurant, Reiner’s residence, The Counselor’s apartment, the spa where Malkina and Laura visit together.
  15. The gritty look of the garages where the dope is loaded and unloaded.
  16. The Counselor’s discomfited reactions to all the cautionary words he hears.
  17.  McCarthy’s clever use of the word “cautionary.”
  18.  The creative methods of killing people.

The Counselor does lean heavily on dialogue but there is plenty of action to balance it out. The story—a drug deal that doesn’t come off quite as planned with money missing—is standard stuff.

If you’ve ever enjoyed a Ridley Scott movie or a Cormac McCarthy novel, don’t miss The Counselor.

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